I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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