I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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