I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she smelled like a LAN party
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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