i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
