Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
