you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
