Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
