Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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