Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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