If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
