when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
