24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
