My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
