They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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