I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude. I can hear the air.
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