that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Randomize
