So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His nipple licking is glorious
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