dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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