it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize