im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
