Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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