Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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