community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
