I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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