dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
