I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize