I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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