I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
is that a dick in a sweater?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
