dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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