She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
