Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
wanna go halves on a baby?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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