if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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