great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
