OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
