my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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