well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
not ubering you a puppy
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize