dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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