Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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