i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
