hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sponge bath it is.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
