I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
