No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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