worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I supernannyed him into submission
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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