If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
