we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
