why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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