Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
