The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
