On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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