I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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