Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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