i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
