dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
