Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
