can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize