she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
