Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
