I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
not ubering you a puppy
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
