after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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