Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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