the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
