fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
