im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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