well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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