So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
