I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
