i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize