We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
