i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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